


Stay With Me

by starwritess



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Neon Genesis Evangelion: Gakuen Datenroku | Campus Apocalypse
Genre: Angst, Dreams, Fluff, M/M, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:00:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24340198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starwritess/pseuds/starwritess
Summary: Shinji often dreams of Kaworu. He dreams of him happy, of them in love. He dreams about how he wishes things could be, not how they are.*Takes place in the Campus Apocalypse universe, but can be read without*
Relationships: Ikari Shinji/Nagisa Kaworu
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	Stay With Me

**Author's Note:**

> im gonna be totally honest with you, i got my wisdom teeth out three days so and have been binging campus apocalypse. finished it this morning, LOVED the series but was a bit unsatisfied with the ending, so i immediately churned this out. have not even proof read it yet, although i plan to come back later and do that, BUT i hope you enjoy it and as always, thank you for reading

The branches splayed across the sky, leaves dancing with the wind. The air was hazy and humid. Grass tickled Shinji’s bare feet as we walked through them.

Then Kaworu came into view, and all the flowers around them bloomed. Shinji ran to him, sprinting through the meadow as Kaworu turned, and smiled when he saw Shinji. 

“You came,” He gasped, breathless despite not moving at all. 

“Of course I came,” Shinji reassured, smiling as if nothing else mattered. 

Kaworu smiled back, reaching to his eyes and tugging on his cheeks. “Shall we?” He held out his hand, and Shinji took it. 

Together, they walked down the hill. There was a lake there, with a blanket already set up. Kaworu dragged Shinji over to it, smoothing the sheet out before they laid down. There was a small picnic basket there, waiting to be opened. 

“Hungry?” Kaworu asked, and Shinji nodded eagerly. He opened the basket and pulled out a pair of bento boxes and some water. “I know you are the better cook, but… I decided to give it a try.”

“Oh, no, I’m really not that good,” Shinji was quick to protest, sheepish. “I’ve kind of had to learn, given that I live with someone who barely knows how to boil water.” It was almost the exact same thing he had told Rei before, but Kaworu reacted much differently. He threw his head back and laughed, and Shinji couldn’t help but admire how happy he looked. 

“Well I can confidently say that I know how to boil water, but I’ll let you judge the rest.”

They spent the next few minutes eating. It was quiet, but not uncomfortable. Rather, Shinji enjoyed it. It was a huge difference from his everyday life, and he liked it much better this way. 

“You have some rice on your cheek,” Kaworu said, pointing to his own face. 

Shinji wiped at the sides of his mouth. “Did I get it?”

Kaworu shook his head. “Here, allow me.” He leaned forward, mere inches from his face, and used the pad of his thumb to wipe a grain of rice from the corner of his mouth. 

Shinji stared at him, a little wide eyed. Kaworu laughed a bit, “Hey.”

“H-hey.”

Kaworu started back, licked his lips and brushed a bit of hair from Shinji’s eyes. “Can I…?”

The rest of the question went unspoken, but Shinji knew. He nodded, not trusting himself for words. Kaworu learned forward and their lips met. 

It was soft, short, sweet. Everything and nothing like Shinji had expected. As soon as it was over, he wanted to do it again, and again, and maybe forever. 

But yet he couldn’t. Kaworu pulled away. A moment passed before he whispered, “That was great.”

Shinji couldn’t help but smile and nod. 

And like his wish came true, Kaworu asked, “Do you want to do it again?”

He nodded again. And so they did, and then again, and then countless more times until the sun set into a rosey haze and they laid down, comfortable in each other’s arms.

It was warm outside, the sunset beating fiercely despite the many, many trees surrounding them. It shone through the branches, through the green leaves, and danced illumination across their skin. 

Shinji turned, only to find Kaworu already looking at him. He couldn’t help but giggle, just a bit, in the giddiness of it all. 

“I’m really glad you’re here,” Kaworu said, reaching out to run the pad of his thumb over Shinji’s cheek, then down to his lip. He played with it, running it around his chin and then back up his cheek.

“Me too,” Shinji breathed, heart aching from it all. 

“Do you think you’ll come back tomorrow?”

“If it was up to me, I’d never leave.”

Because in this moment, in this time, he could finally be certain of one thing. Shinji loved him. His heart ached with the revelation, begging to be confessed.

Kaworu sighed. “I wish you could stay.”

“Then I’ll stay.”

Kaworu smiled, but there was a pain behind it, an aching that told Shinji there was more to it than that. But instead of explaining, instead of showing what he meant, Kaworu sighed. “I now know that our destinies were intertwined. And I don’t think I would have truly been me without you.”

Shinji felt his heart swell, because nothing could ruin this moment. 

———————-

Shinji awoke gradually to the melody of birds, chirping outside his window, singing in cheer as if they didn’t know of the gaping hole in his chest. 

His breath was heavy. How could it not? Every morning, he had to face the harsh reality: Kaworu wasn’t here. He never would be, not again. And despite what his dreams may say, despite what he hoped and fantasized about, that was reality. 

He inhaled sharply, then slowly let it out. Repeat. Then again, and again. And keep going, until the day ahead seemed less bleak, his chest felt less empty. For how are you supposed to go on when the world feels cold? How do you move past your lost love, the one who meant the world to you, gone? 

Would he ever move on?

But yet, Shinji found that he didn’t want to. As the days pass, and memories fade to grey, those he spent with Kaworu would always be vibrant. Full of joy and life. And as his heart yearned for it’s other half, he found that all he could do was dream, and hope that somewhere, Kaworu was dreaming of him too. 


End file.
